valentine's day 2008

I was pretty much busy last Valentine's Day. Looking back at the past days I've been ranting about not having a plan for 214, only to find out that the special day would be in fact a day of love and bonding. On that day I felt loved, wanted, needed.

That was the day she was interred. A cloudy morning it was, and I did my best to entertain some of the last friends who came to visit the wake. Tia was just keeping herself strong, my mom was roaming around fixing stuff, while I went to town and bought flowers. I chose the most colorful ones as she was always fond of colors and bright effects. Later that day I went to shop for a shirt.

Only a few people came to the mass. Not even the closest ones were there. But I didn't care, for the only thing that mattered was for her to receive the last mortal blessings given by our faith. I looked at her beyond the glass and noticed that she looked the same, still with the natural blush, just like a sleeping child. She retained that stern image, but I couldn't help but smile for her natural beauty remained intact.

I wrote her a poem. It was about a star who once spread light on earth. I've always believed that when we die, we become stars in the sky-that we are actually stars who come to earth and shine. That after many moons we go back home in the universe to give way for new stars. She was once a star sent by the heavens, to shine on earth in her own simple ways. After reaching the diamonds, the heavens sent for her to come back home.

Then came the time for her to be interred. After a few hours we found her in white ashes, as her physical structure returned to its prime composition. Yet I still can't believe she was gone, totally gone from our lives.

I was blank. I still am, just like Tia. I didn't want to mourn but I can't help doing so. But I know she's already safe and sound and happy and back to her most beautiful state: a star.