Disclaimer

I am allowing Pinoy Undeground to publish my essay "P.S. 150 1st Semester AY 2004-2005 which I posted here on my blog last January 20, 2008, under the title "rainy sunday emo blues."

I am also allowing the said community forum to publish my other entries found in this blog. :)

Hayden Camera: Setting Porn Free

Okay, so now I’ll be joining the media hype. Let’s ride on with Hayden Kho’s newfound popularity as a porn star/macho dancer/videoke master.

Today I heard that Councilor Nanette Costelo-Daza of Quezon City will be filing charges against Dr. Hayden Kho due to his sex video which is a “clear representation of violence against women’s rights and gender equality.” In his videos, the doctor/celebrity/ex-beau of celebrated plastic surgeon Dr. Vicki Belo was captured having sex with well-known women, such as actress Katrina Halili, model Maricar Reyes, and another model who hails from Brazil.

Since the videos involved well known people the media swarmed on it like flies on street pizza, making a big issue regarding Kho’s credibility, and packaged the female subjects as victims of his machismo. But are they really victims in this light?

In a site dedicated to the actress, Katrina Halili says she seeks justice because her woman’s rights were lambasted upon the spread of the video. In the news she says she is determined to have the person who spread the videos apprehended and hopefully stop the dissemination of the video in the internet, on CDs and DVDs.

Can’t the actress cut the crap out? First, wasn’t she aware that Kho was taking a video of their alleged Kama Sutra demonstration? Prior to the release of the actual sex video, there already is a video of her and Kho (dubbed as the “instructional dance video”) where they were dancing in front of the camera to the tune of George Michael’s “Careless Whisper,” wearing only underwear. She also has another clip where she was talking to Kho in front of the camera. Now she’s saying she seeks justice for being ripped off her woman’s rights. Hasn’t she realized that she already gave up her so-called “rights” by stealing another woman’s boyfriend? We all know that she and Kho had an affair while the doctor was still in a relationship with Dr. Belo.

On the video itself, we are fussing over it mainly because, as I’ve mentioned earlier, it involved well-known personalities. But what if it’s just like any other sex videos where unknown aspiring porn stars were involved? Then we wouldn’t have this issue, as it would just another sex video that seeks to help guys fulfill their vicarious thrills, and at the same time improve the Philippine porn business which earns around fifty million each year.

I do not understand why there would be charges against Kho, and only him (and his fraternity brother Erik Chua, who allegedly was the one who uploaded the videos over the internet). I think that Katrina Halili and Maricar Reyes should be charged as well, for violating their own women’s rights.

Civic groups, human rights organizations, and most of all, politicians, ride on with this issue mainly because the sex video apparently destroys the “moral values” of the Filipino society. But rather than filing charges to Kho and his minions, or bran the video as “blasphemous” or “immoral,” I think it is better to look at the video at a more educational, while at the same time liberating perspective.

The country is suffering from a fast moral decline and we know it. But the solution is not through apprehension or condemnation of those who exercise immorality. Rather, it is better to educate the people about sex and pornography not as forms of increasing one’s libido, but as creative ways in promoting procreation.

Sexual acts are seen as taboo by the public, but aren’t they the same ways in producing children? Then why be hypocrites in this issue? The act of procreation is celebrated through the movements done during the intercourse itself, and why should we deny ourselves of seeing that fact? While we brand sex as bad and immoral, then why do people do it in the first place? Hence, if the government, as well as the society who sees sex as dirty and illicit, then perhaps it’s time to promote artificial insemination instead. Now who would want that?

Statistics say that more crimes involving sex and malice is due to the increase of pornography and the decline of the society’s moral values. I say, it’s in the way the sex and pornography is interpreted. I think that today’s existing institutions can boost the society’s moral values back by using these materials, in a more educational viewpoint. By making people understand what sex and porn really are (sans the word immoral and taboo), then there would be no issue such as this would happen.

P.S. Katrina Halili, you packaged yourself as a sex symbol, and by that you should expect men violating your woman’s rights mainly because you want them to lust for you. I guess you have no right to ask for justice now that the sex video is released because after all, you asked for it.

Chase for the Wonder Boys

It was a year ago when she cried a river for her wonder boy.

Moons have passed, but it seemed that she only learned to eat her words of self-salvation, as she didn't mind chasing another heart-which, still could not be hers. It is difficult to understand why her heart follows a masochistic path, knowing that she would fall into deep pain. Yet she wandered forth and hoped to finally capture his heart.

Desiderata. Life is not a chase, but a walk by the shore. Try to see the waves and smell the breeze. It is only your spirit that can heal your burns, if only you would allow it to.

Wonder boys, there are many of them in your lifetime. But they are neanderthals who, are merely absorbed in their own parallel universe. Don't you think you deserve a sapien this time around?

Asan na si Mabuti?

Asan na si Mabuti?

Marahil ilang taon na rin ang lumipas nang makilala ng madla ang batang si Mabuti. Si Mabuti ang representasyon ng tipikal na batang mag-aaral sa Pilipinas, mapa-pribado o pampubliko man ang kanyang pinapasukan. Si Mabuti ang batang inatasan ng isang mabigat na responsibilidad habang nasisilayan ang samu't saring problema sa kanyang kapaligiran, at ang responsibilidad na ito ay ang mag-aral.

Si Mabuti ba ay nakatapos ng pag-aaral? Matapos maabot ng guro ang puso niya, ano na ang nangyari kay Mabuti? Nakaapak ba siya ng high school o kolehiyo? O nag-asawa siya kaagad? O nakakilala ng barkadang sasamahan? Naabot kaya niya ang kanyang pangarap?

Asan na si Mabuti?

Sa aking pananaw, si Mabuti ay nabubuhay sa puso ng bawat Pilipino. Sa iyo, sa akin, sa atin. Kung kaya't ang kinabukasan ni Mabuti ay nasa ating mga kamay, kung saan tayo ang huhubog at magdadala. Nasa sa atin na kung si Mabuti ay lalaking mangmang, adik, o propesyunal, or martir na asawa.

Marahil si Mabuti ay isa paring musmos, na pinipilit mamulat sa isang lipunang isip-bata.

Para kay Genoveva Edroza Matute (1913-2009)

Run, Anadel, Run

How does it feel to be able to run again, Anadel?

I know you never met gramma, but for sure she'd greet you with her signature beso. You see, she can be cold at times. But gramma's pretty cool.

I've been chasing for liberty, just so you know.

I envy your beauty, your meekness. And I hate it when you never recognized my presence.

Run, Anadel, run. Fate kept us apart. We never had the chance to play on the sandy beach.

We could have been sisters.

Run, Anadel run. The clouds will be your playground.

I do hope to see you again. One day we'd be able to do the things destiny once deprived us.

Anadel Juntilla
1986-2009

Freedom Viewed from a Kaleidoscope

If you are a child of the 90's, for sure you know Francis Magalona. Known as the Philippines' Master Rapper, he started to dig groundbreaking success with his album "Yo!" way back in 1990, represented by the hit song "Mga Kababayan". Most of his songs were made up of nationalistic lyrics, stating the right of the youth to exercise their freedoms in the society. He eventually became a household name thanks to the Royal Tru Orange commercial where he teamed up with some of then's hottest teen stars to dance, sing and rap in the 45-second video.

I was in gradeschool then, and yes, I was one whom you can call a child of the 90's. My classmates and I were big fans of Kiko back then, and even as I ventured towards life and beyond, he remained to be a great influence in my formative years. Kiko may not have known me, nor may he had realized it that much, but he provided a big contribution in the development of my present principles, as a person, as a member of the youth society, and as a citizen of this nation-state.

I admit I took Kiko's omnipresence in my life for granted. I hated some of his videos, rapped along some of his lyrics, and took for granted the airplay of his songs on the radio. But my neglect for his music's messages were not because of a fickle-mind's caprice; I thought Kiko would always be there. I thought, and always believed, that Kiko, Master Rapper Francis M., was immortal.

But I guess the prerequisite to immortality is death. The Master Rapper left the earth last March 6 after struggling with leukemia. Like most fans, I was saddened. I am saddened. Too bad I was miles away from Manila otherwise I would have been there at his wake, to pay my final rites for the man I considered to have molded my life as a writer, a lover, and a political animal. His death however awakened one dream I had, a reverie which I once chose to kill after losing hope-to grasp freedom.

My heart is still bleeding for his loss, but I knew that upon his passing, Kiko left me, his fans, and all the members of the youth a legacy which all of us bear the responsibility to continue: fight for our rights, fight for our freedom.

As a fan, as a writer, and as a dreamer, I end my requiem with an aspiration that is once again reginited through the lyrics of his song:

Gusto kong matikman ang sarap ng buhay,
hawakan ang bukas sa'king mga kamay.

I will hold the future in my hands. I will, Kiko.

The Curious Case of the Tacloban Rainshowers

This is the first time I spent the new year in my hometown, Tacloban. During the holidays I was so excited because I haven't spent celebrating the season in this place, so I exhausted myself with all the merry-making my relatives had to offer. When New Year's eve came however, I suddenly felt sleepy and opted to go to dreamland in the midst of the firecracker extravaganza. Besides, it was a rainy evening and with the clouds covering the night sky, there would be no fireworks to shine on midnight. New Year's Day arrived, and the rain continued to pour. To my surprise, the showers didn't cease even after a few days. Tacloban mornings were awfully cloudy, and the city seemed to be deprived of sunshine. I had to wear my hooded jacket and bring an umbrella to the places I went, and I could only wonder why the rain pour wouldn't stop even if there was no threat of storms in the area.  

One afternoon while watching another rainfall in my bedroom window, I remembered and old saying that rain showers are supposed to clean up the land. The purpose of rainfall is to wash away the dirt and grime the land has incurred due to human abuse, and after a long rain pour, sunshine would welcome the soil that's now blessed with new life. That's when it struck me. Tacloban has always been a dirty place, it even went to the top of the charts (as the dirtiest city in the Philippines). The streets of downtown are crowded at night not by people but of garbage and sewer rats, and there's nothing the people could do (save for a few X-men also known as metro aides who try to sweep some trash during midnight). Perhaps the heavens are trying to clean up this city, but despite their continuous efforts to wash away the rubbish, nothing has seemed to change. 

Tacloban is now an HUC, but is this really the answer to the city's current problems? I could only wonder. Even the heavens can't seem to find a solution.

Children's Park and Tacloban's Quest in Becoming a Highly Urbanized City

I was watching a travel show on a cable channel last week and there was a restaurant featured in Charlotte, North Carolina. The said diner was known for its fried hotdog sandwiches which people from all walks of life enjoy. What struck me however is that the diner has been around since 1928, and the owners of the establishment didn't change any part of the place to preserve its nostalgia-the diner reminds its townsfolk of the memories they had over the past 80 years.

I meanwhile began to think about Children's Park. Situated in front of Tacloban's Provincial Capitol, Children's Park used to be the main playground of the city's future citizens, (kids, of course). However, due the ongoing plans for commercial development, the Children's Park was demolished (the ruins still stand though) and was in a way transferred to a nearby coastal lot which is now called "Family Park".

I was born in Tacloban, but due to the circumstances I was not able to spend my growing up years here. But the Children's Park became a vital part of my heritage, since my aunt, who grew up in Tacloban, always shared to me her fond memories as a child in the said playground. It was the place where she enjoyed her life as a kid, and where she build foundations of friendship with her classmates. Through the photographs I saw her and her classmates playing at the big shoe, and rode on the stone elephants that stood in the park.

I first visited to Tacloban when I was 9, but since I was lost in translation I wasn't able to play and make friends with the kids at Children's Park. It took me another 13 years to return after that short visit, but unfortunately Children's Park wasn't there anymore. I soon found out that the site where the Children's Park once stood was supposed to be used for a mall, but the project didn't push through. These days the site of Children's Park is being used as a place where used clothes are sold for bargain prices (ukay-ukay).

I am not sure if my aunt already knows about the demise of the playground she learned to love, but for sure she would be saddened to learn this fact. Children's Park is among the few places in Tacloban where people come in peace and share solace, where children build memories of fun and laughter. Children's Park is also the perfect site where government offices can view their people united, which is a good reminder of not just the city's culture, but of the people's socio-political strength.

As I view it, the demolition of Children's Park is a cruel way of robbing the Taclobanons' culture. The park was a cultural landmark, and it cannot be replaced or transferred for the sake of commercial goals. Was the relocation of the park among the plans towards becoming a highly urbanized city? I do understand the city's needs for better economic development, but I can't seem to find a good reason for putting the city's socio-cultural landmarks at risk. I believe, that no matter how economically stable a state is, it still is worth nothing without culture, for it lives with no spirit. The same goes with its microcosm, such as the city of Tacloban.

The people of have decided however. I just hope that the consequences of the choice they made would not take a painful toll in Tacloban's future.

anniversary

I remember the same day last year I was locked in an internet shop in La Trinidad, Benguet, trying to cope with the cold mountain winds that came from the northern hemisphere. The day was sunny though and the gales were dry. I was frantic for being broke, my head was still a bit woozy due to the bottles of beer I consumed during our New Year's day celebration. The same day last year, while waiting for my payment, I found myself setting up this blog.

It has been a year. Has been.